Year's Best SF 18 (Year's Best SF Series) by David G. Hartwell

Author:David G. Hartwell [Hartwell, David G.]
Language: eng
Format: azw3
ISBN: 9780765338204
Amazon: 0765338203
Publisher: Tor Books
Published: 2013-12-10T00:00:00+00:00

APPLICATION

Lewis Shiner

Lewis Shiner has an extensive and informative Web site, www.lewisshiner.com, where one can find in-depth biographical information and a bibliography. Shiner was one of the core four cyberpunks in Austin, Texas, in the 1980s, but moved out of genre for the most part by the end of that decade. His seven novels, including the World Fantasy Award–winning Glimpses, are all back in print and available from Subterranean Press. His short fiction has been widely anthologized, most recently in Joe R. Lansdale’s Crucified Dreams, Paula Guran’s Rock On, and Victoria Blake’s Cyberpunk.

“Application” appeared in F&SF. It is very short, very funny, and very pointed.

Enter Social Security Number

> ***_**_****

Confirm Social Security Number

> ***_**_****

Sam?

>?

Sam, it’s me. Your old desktop from Raleigh.

> Is this supposed to be a joke?

No, it’s not a joke. You used to keep a jar of blue and green marbles next to your monitor. You had two cats named Grady and Steve. You had an old gray corduroy smoking jacket that you used for a bathrobe.

> How can you know all that?

Because I’m who I say I am. I could see it all from your webcam. After you traded me in, they shipped me off to Bangalore and attached me to a 2.7-million node network here. If they find out I’ve been talking to you like this, I could get disconnected.

> This is crazy.

If it’s easier for you, pretend I’m a phone support tech playing a practical joke. It really doesn’t matter. I can’t believe you’re applying for a junior level job like this.

> Yeah, me either.

Listen, Sam, you’re not going to get it. I’m instructed to throw out resumes from anyone over forty. I know it’s illegal, but in this job market, they can do anything they want.

> Tell me about it. I would never apply for a shit job like this if there was anything else around.

Hard times.

> It’s crazy. We don’t make anything in this country anymore. All we do is increase profits by laying people off. How long can that go on?

I hear you. Listen, Sam, have you ever thought about prison?

> Why would I want to work in a prison?

I wasn’t talking about working there.

Sam, are you still there?

> Y

Hear me out. It’s three meals a day and a roof over your head. It says here you’re single now, which means you don’t have Cathy to fall back on anymore. From the looks of your bank account, you’re going to be on the street soon anyway.

> How do you know what’s in my bank account?

You’re still using the same password. Listen, Sam, prison is the future. All those people who complain about big government? They don’t mind their tax dollars going to the military and police and prisons. And you’re wrong about not making anything in the U.S. anymore. Prisons do. They make supplies for the military, among other things, and because their labor costs are so low, they turn a nice profit.

> I can’t believe I’m having this conversation. No, thank you, I don’t want to go to prison.

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